Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
5.0 首先要肯定开心麻花对于故事场景的探索放大，但是执着于喜剧招牌，不惜降低包袱的等级，还甚至试图打煽情牌，那跟春晚小品只有媒介和布景的差别。ps.影片本身的亮点也不容忽略，“英雄是可以被创造的，而英雄最大的作用是教化民心”
从一念天堂到流浪月球，其实还是悲剧内核，但是，作品成熟了，沈腾也成熟了。沈马组合，快乐星球
太久没去电影院，看个沈腾，都觉得眉清目秀的。
打七分，总体感受是失望的 相比于开心麻花之前爆笑的电影，这电影第一次结合了科技元素，但是脱离开人间场景后，里面的笑点给我感觉是一个个凑起来的，为了搞笑而刻意为之，在影院的我如坐针毡，不知道该笑还是不该笑……影片中多处场景➕音乐不是很匹配的地方看起来非常有违和感，一边看一遍感觉莫名其妙。 前后人物的反转也没有任何的铺垫，比如前面女主理性丢下男主，后面又劝他不去拯救世界；比如前面男主对女主的种种行为接近变态后面二人竟养成了感情？ 人间的场景也塑造的不够全面，给人很刻意的感觉。另外影片当中用的老梗真的很笑不出来啊…… 当然顶流刚子的角色是一种突破，在我看来还是比较加分的
虽然麻花已经很努力想做正剧，但其一贯的保守价值观和科幻题材的自由进步格格不入，其一贯的中年颓丧气质与科幻的中二理想主义格格不入。在市民喜剧中尚可接受的搞笑手法在这里变成了极其刺眼的媚俗，身体力行诠释了“娱乐至死”，直播是本片最核心的动作，但无论从角色动机还是科学原理都丝毫不合理。类型嫁接并不容易，我现在理解了《疯狂的外星人》为何如此拧巴，就是宁浩一定要把科幻题材拉回地面，才能进行讽刺讥笑，否则如本片只能靠自恋的直播卖萌、正能量自嗨，恰好麻花的固有受众可能挺习惯这一套表达方式的。没有危机和神秘的科幻片、没有痛感的悲剧、没有讽刺的喜剧片，本片在三个方向上全面崩塌，看得我如坐针毡。最后沈腾复制吴京流浪地球的壮举毫无必要，既不可信又没创意，归根到底是麻花擅长的让小人物一举成名并赢得校花心的黄粱美梦。
6、虽然最后赋予了一个拯救全人类的目标，但影片前2/3都是在地球上的人类生存环境日趋恶劣的前提下，耗费人力物力去关注一个吃喝不愁的逗比。
真的好搞笑啊，好喜剧总能让人难以自拔，就完全是忘记烦恼的两个小时。沈腾还是不错，继黄渤之后笑星
袋鼠是亮点 制作上也拿得出手 但总体不喜欢
一人一鼠一球，沈腾版“二舅”治愈了人类的精神内耗….这次是麻花量较低的沈腾独角戏，马丽这个角色毫无发挥空间，其他配角也成了摆设。所以它首先是科幻还是喜剧？这是一个问题。
前半段还是开心麻花段子合集，我是一个都笑不起来，一些低俗的听了都想翻白眼了，真的蛮难吃下他们这套，考虑着打一星还是两星。好在大概在四十分钟后，主喜剧段落基本结束，后大半段的剧情向科幻情节与煽情向爱情元素都达到了合格商业片的水平，观赏性不错，再加上出色的音乐，最后的浪漫化表达做得够极致，有被煽到。总的来说还不错，可以一看。
电影不错，很多惊喜彩蛋，“下落特烦恼”、cue吴京的一些梗很巧妙。
麻花做大情节和设定的功力一直是非常厉害的，可惜小情节一直撑不起来，只有一些带梗的高光时刻。好比他们设定好了A点和B点，但是如何从A走到B搞得很草率。“都得死”和“中间人”的概念我是非常喜欢的，因为我本人就一直思考死以及活在中间。这部电影显然想要有所表达，但是又习惯于把一切掰开揉碎嚼烂了喂给观众。那个袋鼠到底是干嘛来了？人和活物的羁绊是很能共情的，但是也太开玩笑了吧。两位主演的演技其实容易让人代入爱情，但是情节上有点硬了。喜剧有假定性，但太空直播的镜头放在哪，导播又在哪。地球人（除了吹葫芦丝那位）除了给反应镜头就是呆着，我的小严良...片尾看到合作方有航天局，咋说呢，其实事情确实不能到准备好了才做，这片子的几个大的情节点其实都是挺有力量的。从A到B的路径不完美，难道就不出发了吗。"落枕"很好笑
如果一点科学都不讲，应该还算完整流畅跌宕起伏
当地球拥有了星环围绕，那也是电影人对宇宙的另一种憧憬与向往吧。
看到前三分之一，以为是披着科幻皮的新瓶装旧酒的开心麻花喜剧，有些无感。看完才发现，这部电影是开心麻花的一次大胆拓展。对标的是火星救援和流浪地球，更偏向于硬核科幻片。胖了的沈腾还是能折腾，全程冷脸的角色，这次马丽的发挥有限，喜剧元素在后半部已经刻意被弱化了，几处情节走的感人路线。整体上非常不错
这是一部喜剧，也可以不仅仅是一部喜剧。两个小时沉浸感很强，笑得很开心。看完后一直在回味，独孤月身上有太多“我们”的影子，愿我们都能如独孤月那样做平凡的勇士。
这应该是开心麻花目前最像“电影”的作品了，它完成了电影最原始也最核心的价值，为人造梦，给人希望，结合当下的环境来看更为应景，疫情三年以来，我就没有再看到影院上座率这么满过了，经济下行、就业困难、生存压力，像片中的地球人一样，都“抑郁”了。独孤月在全球直播里有带给大家什么深度的输出吗？没有，他从始至终都是为了心中所爱，想回到她的身边，想让她开心，就像这部电影，它有想七拐八绕的去故作高深吗？没有，道理简单的很，不过就是想在如此糟糕的当下，让你振作一点，逗你高兴一点，一个商业喜剧片而已，已经完成如此高度了，还不够吗？独孤月拯救了地球，也希望《独行月球》能振奋一下低迷的电影市场。
前半段本来挺好的，笑点也都还不错，结果后半段彻底跑偏，并且在我最讨厌的无脑好莱坞式英雄主义情结上无法自拔。基于对开心麻花的期待，我一直希望最后哪怕来一个喜剧的无厘头的收尾也行，结果竟然就是最老套的英雄主义，最讨厌的结尾没有之一。受不了后面的强行煽情和各种bug和个人英雄主义崇拜情节，没办法因为前面的喜剧就打高分，剧本确实跑偏太多了。
合格的商业片，虽然我是那20%，能让电影院80%的观众笑得肆无忌惮，已经很成功了。且这本子只能是沈腾来。
开心麻花这次没有让我失望，沈腾马丽永远是金字招牌！
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