Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
《新流量密码·安室透》
很燃很刺激 但我有个请求，下次能不能请毛子配毛子…听到我唯一能听懂的“哈拉少”被念成“哈拉修～”的时候我还是笑出来了。。
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈这是什么一本正经的屎尿屁低俗恶搞！拿起来锤子垃圾桶盖子还有电焊的时候简直笑出猪叫。不需要带脑子看的搞笑解压片子！
超越预期，剧情竟然没有脱线，推理达到了TV版的平均水准，好评 6/11 @ Cathay Cineplex Cineleisure
意外很好笑哈哈哈，plus版的《这个杀手不太冷静》。这么精良的摄影制作和俊美的演员拍什么不好，拍了一个欢乐无比的恶搞电影，不愧是浪漫法国
结局太惊艳了，大部分桥段都很搞笑，看了这么多恶搞但是这部电影还是有很多意料之外，吐槽超级英雄又很容易get到所有梗。
节奏很紧凑，警校组的情怀拉满了，俄罗斯组织的部分有点rz，安室透就是来纯装逼的
柯南剧场版あるある:博士的新发明真方便，一直都是预言式开发；不要细想犯罪手法，都是为了使用博士的道具；好的好的你们其实都很久之前都见过，只是在人群之中多看了你一眼；最后十五分钟，推理结束，开始特技表演！不过这一弹总的来说我能给8，还是有很好的节奏感和本格推理部分的，而且也有新冠背景下不做嚯嚯海外地标而是回到了涩谷，而且涩谷新盖了楼不可以推倒只能想别的办法于是最后是这么个稍微有点物足りない的大场面。最后我想说，如果早知道今年会打仗还会选择俄罗斯元素吗真是天有不测风云了
我看搞笑微博都没笑得这么大声 从头到脚密集的槽点真的不会被起诉吗
基本几个最知名的超英片里的名场景和角色都NETA了个遍吧，笑料上还是那个打完下三路的味儿，但是还谈不上下作这样，那当娱乐片放松看看还挺不错的。
《触不可及2：他又能走了》哈哈哈哈哈哈
适合用来se vider la tête的喜剧，梗好密集，因为太久没这么笑过了多加一星！对超英片审美疲劳到不能更疲劳的当下，倒是很好的缓解了我的应激反应w
近年来最佳！ 当然离谱的地方还是很离谱，后面三分之一是众所周知的装逼动作片。前面三分之二的气氛渲染的不错，就是犯人的犯罪动机并不明显（指最初的犯罪动机），另外佐藤高桥很甜！！！我很喜欢！！！
沉睡的侦探飞身救回续集，毛利小五郎YYDS，TK炸弹满天飞，只有叔叔还在睡！
很好看，看到飞人安室透和反重力柯南你甚至会觉得，比起赤井秀一让子弹飞和神拳无敌京极真，人类可能还会做到这些。前半段剧情渲染得很好，还有几个梗很有趣(大叔麻醉耐性笑死了)，后半段进推理有一说一有点扯。
菲利普拉肖➕法式喜剧简直爽翻了，虽然各种屎尿屁，各种无厘头和恶搞，恶趣味，段子密集程度很可以，也很离谱，不过观看过程中极度舒服
好久没看这么过瘾的喜剧了，也好久没看过“失忆梗”的喜剧了。我是觉得，这部电影不单单是对好莱坞超级英雄电影的恶搞，很难不让我想到这个发明了电影及早期佳片无数的国家多少显得有些落寂。
两种液体流到下水道，不是照样会爆炸吗？？？
6. 最后俩警官也亲上了，而演习又在上演，当之轮回，爱为根本啊！
编剧超棒啊，能够想出如此连贯的剧情，笑点密集，可看
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